Teacher, celebrity life coach and “Live Your True Life” author Ashley Berges and I sit down to talk about achieving balance, healthy relationships and what she loves about Dallas.
What was your motivation to write “Live Your True Life”?
I was very ill growing up and through this, I understand the human condition. I had to! I didn’t have an option. The book takes the guess-work out of life.
I am a Libra. Balance is important to me and my sign strives to achieve this in all areas of life. Everyone is looking for balance in their lives, especially in relationships. What are three ways men and women can begin to create some balance in their relationship?
First everyone must have personal space. It’s a fallacy that being in a relationship means that you have to always be together. You don’t have to do everything together. Everyone should have their time: friends, family, yourself and your significant other. Two, people are busy and it’s ok to schedule and plan a date night! Three, each person has to equally be vested and want to create balance. If one partner wants it and the other pushes back, it won’t work.
On the topic of relationships – friendships and romantic relationships in particular – differences and lack of understanding of those differences can create difficult situations. What is your advise for understanding and accepting what makes each person unique?
There is a reason you fell in love or like spending time with that person. If you don’t respect the differences, their unique being, they won’t respect yours. Differences add to a relationship verses taking away from it. What do you have if you are both the same people?! Learn from the differences. People must be comfortable with and accept themselves in order to really be open and available to learn from the differences of others.
Is marriage always part of living our true life?
No! You can be single and have a happy life. You can date or not date. There are no limitation on how happiness is defined, except in society, but ultimately everyone has to decide what makes them happy.
Tell me, what do you love about Dallas?
I moved back to Dallas from Miami Beach in 2001. Dallas is a big city with a small town feel, at times. I know a lot of people so I see people I know everywhere I go and I love that
You know Dallas had great shopping! Where do you like to go?
I love Neiman Marcus, Downtown and the NorthPark locations. Also Nest is one of my favorite places too. Honestly, I will go anywhere once!
I actually read “Live Your True Life” twice in a matter of two weeks. One because I wanted to write a quick review of it and two because I wanted to apply portions of it to my life. The topic of particular interest to me can be found in chapter 4, where Ashley talks about expectations.
Everyone has experienced a moment when they feel let down; I have as recent as yesterday. Ashley writes that “expectation are overrated” and that instead of placing expectations on others we should stop expecting certain outcomes and “take part in the present moment” versus “using our present moment as a means to an end”. This does not mean we have to tolerate lies and those who do not keep their word, but it does mean we have more control over how we utilize that moment with that person.
In “Live Your True Life”, Ashley has created a road map to true happiness, true understanding of ones self and equips the reader with tools to navigate life and all its challenges. Topics like dealing with negative people, expectations, loving yourself and boundaries are so important to developing a healthy self. Reading the book and using the personal reflecting and blog opportunities throughout will empower and enlighten.
Ashley puts forth approachable wisdom and techniques aimed at helping the reader achieve positive growth within and encourages the reader to share it with others through the development of healthy boundaries, self-respect and overall better interpersonal life skills. Overall, the book focuses on the benefits of having a positive relationship with ourselves first, then others. Grab a copy, read it and use it as a chance to get you know yourself better.